When couples or individuals have explored various fertility options and are considering donor eggs, sperm, or embryos, they often face complex emotional challenges. I understand that this can be a confusing and difficult time, marked by the loss of a genetic connection and the unique dynamics of donor-conceived families.

As an experienced counselor, will help you navigate topics such as fertility grief, genetic concerns, your feelings toward your future child, and how to communicate this journey with family and friends. I also provide child-focused counseling to help you better understand the potential impact on your child.

Counseling for Intended Parents (IPs) is not a test you must pass before treatment but rather a supportive resource to address your concerns. Each session typically lasts approximately 1 hour, and I am happy to provide reports upon request to your clinic.

• Grief and loss: We'll discuss the emotional challenges and potential feelings of loss associated with using donated gametes to build a family.

• Should we tell our child about his/her donor conception? I recommend telling your child about their donor conception from an early age.
  

• What role will the donor have in our lives, if any?: Discussion about potential involvement or contact with the donor in the future.

• Will I feel like my child isn't really mine?: Addressing concerns about parental identity and bonding with a child conceived through donation.

• I am upset about not having a bio child. Is that ok?: Validation of emotions and support for coping with feelings of disappointment or grief.

• Should we tell our family members about using a donor?: Consideration of family dynamics and potential benefits or challenges of sharing this information with relatives.

• How do we deal with questions from others?: Strategies for handling inquiries from friends, family, or others about the donor conception.

• What if this treatment doesn't work?: Discussion about coping with treatment failure and exploring alternative paths to parenthood.

• Will my child be upset with me for choosing to conceive this way?: Addressing potential concerns about the child's feelings regarding their conception method.

• What are our best options considering our finances?: Exploration of affordable options for assisted reproduction and financial planning.

• Implications of long-term impact on the family: We'll explore how the decision to use gamete donation may affect family dynamics over time.

• Needs of donor-conceived persons: Understanding the potential emotional and psychological needs of children conceived through donation is essential for informed decision-making.

• Limitations of donor screening: We'll cover the scope and limitations of the screening process for donors, ensuring you have a clear understanding.

• Desired qualities of the donor and its implications: Exploring preferences regarding donor characteristics and understanding the implications of these choices.

• Challenges of anonymity because of direct-to-consumer DNA testing, technological advances, social media, and implications for donor-conceived families: Understanding the potential impact of modern technology and social media on donor anonymity and future family dynamics.

• Future implications for the children of having persons who are linked through the same donor: Consideration of how children conceived with the same donor might interact and perceive their relationship in the future.

• Future implications of receiving new medical information about the donor or another donor-conceived sibling: Discussion about how new medical information about the donor or other donor-conceived siblings may affect your family.

• Impact of treatment failure, coping with treatment termination, and developing alternative plans for the future: Addressing the emotional challenges of treatment failure, coping strategies, and exploring alternative family-building options if needed.

A Note from Jana about Third Party Reproduction Counseling

To get the most out of your intended parent appointment with Jana, you can do some prep work.

1. Read Three Makes Baby
2. Audio Book available on Google Play, Apple Books, Walmart/Kobo, Chirp
3. Work through the companion Three Makes Baby Workbook with your spouse (if applicable).
4. Listen to Three Make Baby Podcast episodes.
5. Take the Fertiqol test online.
6. Take the Enneagram test online.
7. Sign up for parent workshops coming soon.